Con tantos palos que te dio la vida

Con tantos palos que te dio la vida
y aún sigues dándole a la vida sueños.
Eres un loco que jamás se cansa
de abrir ventanas y sembrar luceros.
Con tantos palos que te dio la noche,
tanta crueldad, frío y tanto miedo.
Eres un loco de mirada triste
que sólo sabe amar con todo el pecho,
fabricar papalotes y poemas y otras patrañas
que se lleva el viento.
Eres un simple hombre alucinado,
entre calles, talleres y recuerdos.
Eres un pobre loco de esperanzas
que siente como nace un mundo nuevo.
Con tantos palos que te dio la vida
y no te cansas de decir ”te quiero”.
                                   -----(Fayad Jamís)---

If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

New York

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First — if you are in love — that’s a good thing — that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second — There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you — of kindness and consideration and respect — not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply — of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it — and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone — there is no possible harm in saying so — only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another — but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens — The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

" John Steinbeck "

Universal Inner Child

When I came to Lake Victoria, it was quite obvious to me that in some of the most important ways you are much more mature than I am. . . . But in many other ways obviously you are still childish -- how could you not be, you alone among mankind? It's something people don't discuss, because it's something most people are aware of only as a general crisis of sense of inadequacy, or helpless dependence, or pointless loneliness, or a sense of not having a strong enough ego to meet and master inner storms that come from an unexpected angle. But not many people realise that it is, in fact, the suffering of the child inside them. Everybody tries to protect this vulnerable two three four five six seven eight year old inside, and to acquire skills and aptitudes for dealing with the situations that threaten to overwhelm it. So everybody develops a whole armour of secondary self, the artificially constructed being that deals with the outer world, and the crush of circumstances. And when we meet people this is what we usually meet. And if this is the only part of them we meet we're likely to get a rough time, and to end up making 'no contact'. But when you develop a strong divining sense for the child behind that armour, and you make your dealings and negotiations only with that child, you find that everybody becomes, in a way, like your own child. It's an intangible thing. But they too sense when that is what you are appealing to, and they respond with an impulse of real life, you get a little flash of the essential person, which is the child. Usually, that child is a wretchedly isolated undeveloped little being. It's been protected by the efficient armour, it's never participated in life, it's never been exposed to living and to managing the person's affairs, it's never been given responsibility for taking the brunt. And it's never properly lived. That's how it is in almost everybody. And that little creature is sitting there, behind the armour, peering through the slits. And in its own self, it is still unprotected, incapable, inexperienced. Every single person is vulnerable to unexpected defeat in this inmost emotional self. At every moment, behind the most efficient seeming adult exterior, the whole world of the person's childhood is being carefully held like a glass of water bulging above the brim. And in fact, that child is the only real thing in them. It's their humanity, their real individuality, the one that can't understand why it was born and that knows it will have to die, in no matter how crowded a place, quite on its own. That's the carrier of all the living qualities. It's the centre of all the possible magic and revelation. What doesn't come out of that creature isn't worth having, or it's worth having only as a tool -- for that creature to use and turn to account and make meaningful. So there it is. And the sense of itself, in that little being, at its core, is what it always was. But since that artificial secondary self took over the control of life around the age of eight, and relegated the real, vulnerable, supersensitive, suffering self back into its nursery, it has lacked training, this inner prisoner. And so, wherever life takes it by surprise, and suddenly the artificial self of adaptations proves inadequate, and fails to ward off the invasion of raw experience, that inner self is thrown into the front line -- unprepared, with all its childhood terrors round its ears. And yet that's the moment it wants. That's where it comes alive -- even if only to be overwhelmed and bewildered and hurt. And that's where it calls up its own resources -- not artificial aids, picked up outside, but real inner resources, real biological ability to cope, and to turn to account, and to enjoy. That's the paradox: the only time most people feel alive is when they're suffering, when something overwhelms their ordinary, careful armour, and the naked child is flung out onto the world. That's why the things that are worst to undergo are best to remember. But when that child gets buried away under their adaptive and protective shells—he becomes one of the walking dead, a monster. So when you realise you've gone a few weeks and haven't felt that awful struggle of your childish self -- struggling to lift itself out of its inadequacy and incompetence -- you'll know you've gone some weeks without meeting new challenge, and without growing, and that you've gone some weeks towards losing touch with yourself. The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that they didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.

"Ted Hughes on the Universal Inner Child, in a Moving Letter to His Son"

ADVICE TO LOVERS

I knew an old man at a fair
Who made it his twice-yearly task
To clamber on a cider cask
And cry to all the lovers there : –

‘Lovers of all lands and all time
Preserve the meaning of my rhyme,
Love is not kindly nor yet grim
But does to you as you to him.

Whistle, and Love will come to you :
Hiss, and he fades without a word :
Do wrong, and he great wrong will do :
Speak, and he tells what he has heard.

Then all you lovers take good heed,
Vex not young Love in thought or deed :
Love never leaves an unpaid debt,
He will not pardon, nor forget.’

The old man’s voice was kind yet loud
And this shows what a man was he,
He’d scatter apples to the crowd
And give great draughts of cider free.

 Robert Graves, 1919

Gone for forever

"Gone for forever"
Listening to that song, dark memories are coming back, helping memories that I need to stand my ground...
How dares he?! After all he's done!
I fell a little bad for rejecting him, but all I need is to look back, just for few seconds and randomly pick a moment:
-The one in the docent, waiting for the buses to arrive, my soul in pieces, scared, very scared, wondering for my life, and he was there, without looking at me, because he did not care at all....I look his side face, and my soul evaporated.
-His chats with almost strange people, talking about me as an awful step...and talking about love with other girl...
-His conversations by phone with her in front of me, and I had to be the one hidden....WHAT THE FUCK? I was the one that was his girlfriend for almost 7 years....

HOW DARES HE?! Cynical he must be, selfish, full of himself .......and now he is playing good. I wont fucking believe him....
And know he doesn't have the right to make me feel bad and I don't have the necessity...
I don't want a person like him in my life....
This ends now and for good!

What do I have to do?

Experiencias...Si si ya se, todas personas son diferentes, y aprendo de cada uno...pero, nunca terminare de aprender, todos tendran lecciones que ensennarme...pero no puedo esperar a aprender para tener un happily ever after...

Ya no se como lidiar con las personas, cual sera la mejor actitud que debo tener ante ciertas situaciones para salir victoriosa o digna...

Sabiduria, madurez y happily ever after...

What I should be done

Van de manos caminando por el parque
-Hoy fui a ver a mi abuelo.
-Ah si? y que tal esta?
-Bien, me pregunto si tenia novia y le dije que no, que estaba saliendo con una amiga...
Ella se para y las manos se desenlazan. El mira hacia atras
-Que pasa?
-Que significo para ti? Acaso un ligue mas en tu lista? Esto no va a ninguna parte...Me dices que no te enamoras, le dices a todos que soy tu amiga...Si para ti significo una ligue y nada mas, creo que deberias moverte en la lista hacia la anterior o la siguiente...Porque yo no sirvo para esto. Si lo que quieres es salir con una persona, sin compromisos y sentimientos involucrados, te aseguro que estas con la persona incorrecta...
Sus ojos se llenan de lagrimas, pero ella hace un esfuerzo para que estas no corran por su cara...Hay un pequenno silencio y una lagrima incumple sus ordenes. Ella se gira, dandole la espalda para que no la vea. Cuando se quita la lagrima con la mano, lo enfrenta y le dice:
-Lo siento David, creo que no deberiamos vernos mas. Para mi tu no eres solo un ligue, te estas convirtiendo en una persona importante, en la que pienso y tengo ganas de ver todo el dia, esos son claros sintomas que si ya no lo estoy si me falta poco para enamorarme de ti, y eso segun lo que me has contado no es lo que quieres, pero para ti sera facil. Que mas da un ligue por otro...
Esto lo toma por sorpresa y la mira fija
-Y si hago esta drastica sugerencia es porque si seguimos viviendonos se incrementara lo que siento por ti, no hay forma de pararlo si sigo saliendo contigo y ambos sabemos al final quien terminara pasandola mal...Solo te dire una cosa mas, no todo el mundo es igual y no con todo el mundo tendras las mismas experiencias, ya sean malas o buenas...
Se vuelve a girar, ya no tiene control sobre sus lagrimas, salen a borbotones y sin hacer sonido la cara se le encrispa. Ella desea con todo su ser que el haga algo que arregle la situacion, que luche por ella, que demuestre que la quiere. Ella tiene la esperanza y espera...

Es porque no quiere

Dvd: Si hubiera querido hablar contigo te hubiese llamado.

Break the curse

Lo halo por el abrigo, cierro los ojos y lo abrazo, soy feliz mientras dura ese momento, ese es mi lugar preferido. De mi boca salen estan palabras y junto con las vibraciones sale una niebla de deseo y esperanza.
-I'm sorry...
Please don't go.
Stay! Stay with me.
Break the curse.
Save me from the sadness.
Bring light to my heart.
Be my king.
Please, don't go.
Stay with me...
...and never let go.

People who really matter

Ahora me he dado cuenta que las personas que realmente importan son aquellas que les importas. Las personas hacen lo que quieren y no, lo que no quieren. Si hay algunas que no hacen algo porque su orgullo personal se lo impide, si ponen algo por encima de ti, entonces no valen la pena. No los justifiques ni busques excusas...NO VALEN ni dedicarles el pensamiento de : por que?
Dvd no se quiso despedir de ti. Prefirio quedarse durmiendo en su casa....eso DEBIO ser suficiente para no dedicarle el mas minimo pensamiento. Dvd NO VALE la pena, ni vale tus pensamientos, porque el NO ES suficiente...
Neno no es suficiente...
La persona que es suficiente es aquella que estara siempre ahi para mi y que en caso de alguna inconcordia, pasara por encima de eso y vendra a mi.